Freakies Lore
Freakies bowed on the cereal aisle in 1973 and remained
there through 1975. The cereal was produced by Ralston, the
same company that brought America Hot Ralston, Wheat Chex,
Rice Chex and a popular line of animal foods marketed as Dog
Chow, Puppy Chow etc. (Ralston has commercial claim to the
word chow, which company founder William H. Danforth first
heard on the fields of France during World War I.)
Freakies was an eponymous presweetened cereal that
featured seven loveable spacelings who looked like Disney's
Seven Dwarves after an encounter with a toxic-waste dump.
The seven Freakies spent their lives living in seven duplexes
located near the Freakie Tree which blossomed eternally with
fresh Freakies cereal.
After an initial rush of popularity, the Freakies fad
faded. "They did a little research to find out what the
problem was," remembered Freakies animator Jack Zander, "and
the frank answer was, they tasted terrible. Kids, after one
box, didn't go back."
Jackie End, a female copywriter who worked for the New
York based ad firm Wells, Rich, Greene came up with the
Freakies idea as a sort of practical joke on her office
mates. For example, her boss Charlie Moss became the Freakie
Boss Moss. A goody-doody in personnel became the Freakie
Goody-Goody, and an English copywriter with an annoying voice
became the Freakie Gargle. Hamhose, Grumble, Snorkledorf and
Cowmumble rounded out the Freakies gang. "Everybody got a
kick out of it," recalls End, who gets mail from a growing
number of nostalgic twenty somethings. Hardcore Freakies
fans address mail to End as "the Creator."
Freakie premiums in circulation among collectors today
include plastic cars, T-shirts, hats, wall clocks, and fridge
magnets. The most popular premiums are rubber figurines of
the seven Freakies.
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